IT’S ABOUT TIME!
Well, this has not been an easy time for me. There have been so many lows, I’m very surprised I’m here right now writing this. Just trying to put this art show on without whoring out the memories I have of my brother. In the end, this is much bigger than us, so, it’s about time.
If this helps even 1 person, then it’s all worth it. Almost 4 years now. Man, I can’t believe how time flies when you are trying to bury pain. Self medication (lots of Alcohol) seemed to work but I feel it was only “working” for myself and my loved ones were suffering. In the end it was working for the pain but also masking all the good memories I had of Tim. It was not easy to come to this realization. Time, Greta and having a baby helped bring things into perspective.
Myles Timothy Horne, entered this world 5/23/12. He has brought all the joy in my life that has been missing for the last 4 years. or should I say it’s easier to smile and laugh these days. How he came about is a very interesting story. Here is the shortened version:
For our 9th wedding anniversary, I decided to take Greta to Hawaii (Thanks to my friend Brett). There were a couple reasons for picking Hawaii. One is that my parents went there for their anniversary, another is we both enjoy drinking on the beach! and the last one is the song “On A Beach In Hawaii” by Ziggy Marley (This is my song, the song I have that now bonds me to my twin brother). I play this song when feeling sad and imagine Tim on the Beach enjoying a “few” Captain and Coke’s, hands of “hold ‘em” and smiling. Another one is “If I Ever Leave This World Alive” by Flogging Molly.
Well, Greta and I went to Hawaii to relax and enjoy each other. I had an ulterior motive, I was going to find Tim. Well, in the end I did find him and he was on the beach. Turtle Bay to be exact. A few weeks after we got back, Greta found out she was pregnant. I feel Tim was in the universe saying “It’s Time.”
There is so much more to my journey of being a “twinless twin” but I’ll keep that to myself for now.
I’m hoping all the people that have lost someone so very special like I have can somehow regain the courage to “Live” again. To pull themselves up and say “It’s about time.”
Knock It Out! was a phrase that we used when Tim was in the hospital. We were referring to the Leukemia and all the other shit that came along with this horrible disease. Like being down by a run in the bottom of the 9th, with two outs and a runner on 2nd…. Time to “Knock It Out!”
My mom says “I wonder if Tim is talking to Babe Ruth today” or “Who do you think he’s playing cards with today?” Well, all I know is he lived a great life, had many amazing friends and died with dignity. He looked cancer in the face and said “go fuck yourself!!” I don’t believe the Leukemia won in the end, Tim did. He gave so many people strength and happiness that he won.
Well, I’m about to lose it right now so, I’m going to sign off. Please check out: http://www.theblackbookgallery.com/knock-it-out/
P.s. I love you brother! I am my brother’s keeper!
Manifest Hope 2008.
Timmy on Turtle Bay, Hawaii.
We’re taking a little nap.
6-16: Haven’t written in a while. Things are tough but going pretty well. I just wanted to thank everyone for the support. Keep your head up and remember: Knock It Out!!
We are trying to raise money for Hemlock Little League. There will be a golf outing on May 30th at Beach Hollow Golf Course. It is $50/person and that includes a Chicken dinner and a “Dog” at the turn. Please call the Course for more details.
5-19: It has been 3 weeks since Tim got “called up to the Majors”. What an interesting time it has been. There have been so many wonderful people that have reached out that I could never name them all. I want to say Thank You to everyone that has thought about or reached out to my family.
It has been difficult but I’m sure everyone feels that Tim would want us to enjoy life and keep working hard. He never spoke about death only life. That is what made him so special. He was an awesome brother and wonderful friend and I know he is watching over all of us.
Any gifts of money for the scholorship fund can be sent to:
Nouvel Catholic Central High School – 2555 Wieneke Rd, Saginaw, MI 48603
If you would like to send flowers, the showing and funeral will be held at:
St. Mary’s Church
151 Saint Marys Dr,
Hemlock, MI 48626
We are setting up a scholarship fund in Tim’s name. I will post more details about that shortly.
4-26-2009 – My Twin, My Brother, My Best Friend lost his battle w/ Leukemia today. He is in Heaven playing some Texas Hold-em’ drinking a Captain and Coke.
This morning Tim was taken to ICU. His blood pressure dropped quite a bit and the doctors are looking into what is going on.
Tim finished his Chemo yesterday and was happy that he got through another chapter in his “book”.
4-18-09 Tim just started Chemo, 10:30am his first of 12. He had a relapse and Leukemia showed up in his bone biopsy the other day. This was not good news for anyone and his chances are not the best. But, the doctor’s would not be doing this if they didn’t feel like there was a chance of this helping. This type of Chemo will penetrate his Central Nervous System. He has been losing mobility in his legs and arms. The plan is to get his body stronger then find a new donor and then a Stem Cell Transplant. It is now or never. It really is one day at a time right now.
Tim has been feeling pretty well. His counts are up and his vitals are stable. He has been watching a lot of sports on TV and has been getting in Mini-workouts during the commercials. He is battling like a warrior and can’t wait to get outside and hit the links (not sure when that will be possible but, hopefully this summer).
UPDATE: We will be holding another benefit at Horizons. April 19th 1pm – 5pm. Tickets are $20 and will include dinner.
4-2-09 – Tim continues to fight like a champion. It looks like the CMV is gone and his counts have been going up quite a bit. He has a little infection in his right eye and the BK Cystitis is still hanging around. Doctor said he needs 3 hours of exercise a day so everyone is helping him out to get him up and around. He is scheduled for a round of Chemo once he gets rid of the viruses that he has.
3-26-09 – Tim had a biopsy and there were no signs of Leukemia. But, he does have CMV and BK Cystitis which needs to be dealt with. He has had a bit of a fever the last 2 days s0 they are looking into the cause. Overall he is doing pretty well.
3-16-2009 – Back here at UofM. Tim is getting some blood and other stuff to get him stronger. He is scheduled for a bone biopsy and this will determine his treatment schedule. Please send positive thoughts in Tim’s direction that the biopsy is clear of Leukemia cells.
3-10-09 – Tim is on his way to UofM. He has been having a hard time sleeping and has an infection.
He completed radiation and is hoping to be able to get behind his race car shortly. He thinks he will be ready for Talladega on April 26th.
2-24-09 – Tim is still kicking:) He is doing radiation on his head and spine. Going to do that for 10 days and see how things are going. He says his eye is getting a little better but, he still is having a tough time moving his left arm. which means he will be reporting to Spring Training late! Fat Tuesday is treating him well, except for his high blood sugar, he was only able to eat one Paczki (sorry Kristy).
2-10-09 – February update: Tim is doing ok. He had a setback with the right side of his face, he is partially paralyzed and can’t move his right eye. He is still staying strong and is determined to win this battle. Greta went home for a week and spoiled him with some home cooking.
1-1-2009 - It has been a long time since the last update. A lot has happened.
Tim beat the odds once again and is now out of the hospital. He spent Christmas and New Years at home. Which was quite a bit better than last year’s hospital holiday. He is still facing a uphill battle but has come pretty far in the last year.
He has developed Bell’s Palsy which was a little set back but he is starting to get more movement in the right side of his face so hopefully he will be able to knock this out shortly.
Thank you everyone who was involved in Tim’s fight to become Leukemia free. It has been a long year but we all know how many people are struggling with cancer and wish everyone success in Knocking it out.
May everyone have a safe and successful 2009.
12-1-2008 – Tim spent 39 days in the hospital but is finally home. He just had his test and is now 100% donor cells. That is good news. He continues to have a positive attitude and is taking one day at a time.
10-11-08 – It’s early in the morning on Saturday and nurse Sarah just came in to take Tim’s vitals. He is doing well compared to where he was Tuesday. He is determended on making it out of the hospital. I’m making sure he is getting up, doing laps, using the breathing machine, eating, ect… The healing process has begun, now it is up to him to “knock it out”.
Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts, our family is truely blessed.
Here is Tim in his “hotel” room. Giving a little love back to everyone. He is in a race to get better. Please keep sending positive thoughts his way. Room number 8A104.
10-7-2008 – Tim is still fighting an uphill battle. EVERYONE that loves him, needs to let him know that they are fighting with him. He can beat this but, it won’t be easy.
9-18-2008 – Tim needs some positive thoughts sent his way. He had a setback and the Leukemia came back. He is going to get some Chemo and hopfully that does the trick. He is 150 days from the transplant and this is very unexpected.
It has been a while since i’ve updated the site.
8-27-08 – Tim is doing great, he actually was cleared to come to Denver and hang out for a week. We had an awesome time and Tim made it without any problems. He is well over the 100 day mark (after the Stem Cell Transplant), and he is looking and feeling pretty well.
7-14-2008: Here are some pictures of the weekend. Round 2 was an awesome success. Thanks everyone that was involved.
Round 2 update: Round 2 will be held July 12 @ the Sawmill. Everything is the same. click on the link on the right side of the page for details. For questions please email me: tom (at) knockitout (dot) org.
6-23-2008 – Today is a very sad day for friends and family of Mike Cohee. Mike was one of the best people you could ever meet. Mike was like a brother to a lot of the guys we graduated with as well as many others. Because of this great tragedy, Round 2, will be canceled. I will update the site when I have more information. Here is Mike (on the right) at Round 1:
6-16 Tim got the official release. he is now able to stay home full time. everything is looking pretty good.
Update…..Tim had a bone biopsy and he is offically 95% George. (God help us all :) Its like we are triplets. Also, he got his ‘pick line’ removed, this week. Things are going very well. Please check out the link for information about ‘Round 2 – golf outing at The Sawmill’.
GREAT NEWS!! Tim will be going home tomorrow!! Two weeks after the transplant. His white blood cell count is 10,000!!
BIG thanks to Holly and Ann for ‘hounding’ me to keep everyone updated:)
Thought I would share a few pics from my visit with Tim.
Tim and Kristy on ‘crazy shirt’ Friday
Doing a little ‘jazzercise’
Tim wasn’t feeling well, he looked very pale
Hockey playoff time….baby!! Tim with his ‘playoff beard’. Check out the Wings in the background
We had craft day on Sunday.. Those are some rad Mosaic boxes.
The nurses had to keep Tim on a short leash. Tim’s partner in crime, Danny was also under close supervision.
It’s been 10 days after the transplant and Tim is doing great. His blood counts are going a little Haywire but Doc says that is normal. He hasn’t ‘bottomed’ out yet, so we are hoping that he won’t and his counts will start becoming normal again. He has some minor mouth sores which is making it difficult to eat, but he is still trying to get past the pain. He has been doing laps around the floor to keep his strength up. He pushed me around in a wheelchair for a couple of laps, that was until we got into a ‘fender bender’. All in all, Tim is doing VERY well and keeps asking to get released!
Tim getting ready for some of George’s Stem Cells. He has his ‘Transplant’ shirt on. His Transplant song was ‘Milkshake’ by Kelis
Sandy Silva is such a wonderful cousin. Tim loves her and wants to thank her for all of her support. He also feels badly that I did not mention his/our rad cousin, Kathy.
Kristy has been a pillar of strength for Tim. Although it has been very hard w/o GH, she is hanging in there.
April 15th – Tim had the transplant Monday. Boy, was that anti-climatic! The transplant lasted about 10 minutes and was just a bag hooked to his pickline. We all thought he was in for a wild ride:) Tim is doing fine. George is also doing fine, he is pretty tired and sore but isn’t complaining. The 3 of us are in the hospital hanging out. Geo and I got Tim a new video game and he is playing right now. So, all reports are good. He is a little nauseous but all-in-all things are looking great.
Tim will be going to UofM, to start preparing for the transplant, Tuesday morning. He is scheduled to start chemo and that lasts for 5 days. Next Monday George will be there and the transplant will take place.
I’m sure everyone has a million things to think about and deal with, but if you have a spare second, please send positive thoughts Tim’s way.
Check out the ‘Horizon’s’ link on the right side of this page for ‘Round 1′ updates.
Tim is scheduled to start chemo for the Stem Cell Transplant on April 8th. Sunday night was a huge inspiration for him and he is looking forward to overcome yet another challenge.
Tim will be going in for his 3 round of chemo next week (march 10 – 13). He is also looking at the end of March for the Stem Cell Transplant. (Godspeed Tim).
GREAT NEWS! Older brother, George, is a match!!!! So, when Tim goes in for the Stem Cell Transplant, George will be right next to him.
February update: Tim just went in for bloodwork and his counts went up quite a bit.
2-17-08: I (twin brother Tom) just spent the last week with Tim. All we did is eat and play video games. (I guess things could be worse:) Well we did go to the hospital a lot. Tim got 4 bags of blood during the week. It was a great week, I was glad to get a chance to go back home.
1-31-08 – Tim went in for another round of chemo today. He still has some infection on his knee so, he is having surgery done on Friday.
1-26-08 – Tim isn’t out of the water yet. He has 5 damaged chromosones and probably needs a Stem cell transplant ( A stem cell transplant is a complex procedure to replace unhealthy stem cells with healthy ones). The best case scenario is that one of his brothers (Tom & George) is a match w/ Tim’s HLA (human leukocyte antigens). This is a very serious procedure.
1-23-08 UPDATE – GREAT NEWS!!! Doc called and said that there is only 2% Leukemia cells in Tim’s bone marrow. When he went into the hospital he had 98%.
Tim was diagnosed with Leukemia (AML) on December 20th, 2007. Acute myeloid leukemia (AML), also known as acute myelogenous leukemia, is a cancer of the myeloid line of white blood cells, characterized by the rapid proliferation of abnormal cells which accumulate in the bone marrow and interfere with the produciton of normal blood cells. AML is the most common acute leukemia affecting adults, and its incidence increases with age.
He has undergone Chemotherapy and is actually enjoy his new haircut Also, he developed an infection in his knee and had to have surgery. Tim was able to go home Friday January 18th, which means that he was in the hospital for 29 days.
Unfinshed list of bills; 10 blood transfusions, 2 platelet transfusions, chemo, a month in the hospital, getting blood drawn every day and knee surgery. Prescriptions!!
A majority of the bills from the first month in the hospital will not be covered by insurance. The goal is to make, fighting the Leukemia, Tims one and only focus.
Tim has had tremendous support from family and friends. We would like to thank everyone that has helped Tim through the first month of his battle. We know that there are a lot of people that don’t have that kind of support.
Any money raised will go directly to help Tim with any costs associated with fighting Leukemia.